I should not have read all of that. It’s not like I didn’t already feel like the shittiest person alive before reading it, but now I have somehow managed to feel worse. I wish I was getting over this already, but I know a part of me desperately doesn’t want to because I’m foolishly an optimist at heart and still have hope that things won’t be like this forever. Sometimes I hate that part of me. Holding on to hope is kind of what’s killing me.